Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Ooh, Coldplay. Great!

It's the Brit Awards tonight. I know this to be true because my Twitter timeline is full of people (myself included) slagging off the annual attempt by the media machine to pretend it gives a shit about music and not just the money to be made by feeding us the same tepid, uninspiring, pseudo-edgy cack they celebrated last year, and the year before that. The BBC News website's lead story on the Brits at this precise moment tells us "Adele, Ed Sheeran, Florence and the Machine and other big names from the music world gather for the Brit Awards at the O2 Arena in London." Dull, dull, dull.

Despite living in an area not exactly blessed with opportunities to see 'big names from the music world' perform, I personally wouldn't give up a Tuesday evening to watch that parade of pap. Not that such a bonanza of the boring would ever be held in the provinces; heaven forbid the London-centric world of media-friendly mediocrity ever venturing out of their cosy little world of back-slapping banality.

There will be the usual Brit Awards clichĂ©s trotted out tonight. Expect some 'outrageous' behaviour by some fame-hungry wannabes who mistake getting pissed and making an arse of yourself for actually making a statement about something. This is the musical equivalent of mediocre boxers trading handbags at a press conference: something for the media to froth at the mouth about but with as much genuine feeling as an air-kiss from a distant aunt at a wedding you didn't want to attend in the first place.

Apparently Coldplay are nominated for an award too but don't ask me which one. I made the effort to look up the nominations but really couldn't be bothered to read beyond the first two so I didn't get as far as the category Coldplay are in, 'Band most likely to make you become Amish' perhaps? Even the Outstanding Contribution to Music award failed to make me feel any more favourably towards the Brits. I'm aware that some people will violently disagree with me on this, but Blur have not made an outstanding contribution to music. Don't get me wrong, they're OK and have made some agreeable enough music, but personally I'm not a big fan. They are in good company though; previous winners include Cliff Richard, Status Quo and Queen. They're all safe but dull too.

There are wonderful things happening in the real world of music. There are people out there making music for the love of it. There are people making music that matters - music with a message. Others make tunes that are quite simply joyful. I wouldn't expect to see either of these on the Brits.

So I'm avoiding this year's Festival of Faeces. I'm avoiding Twitter for the rest of the evening. Much as I'd love to join in the slagging of the Brits I fear I'll just end up irritable and ultimately as bored by the slagging off as I would have been by the event itself. As soon as I've finished this little rant I'm off to put a film on. About now, actually. T'ra.

ps Seems I missed James Corden too. That's cheered me up!


  1. Another excellent piece Sir (although don't necessarily agree with you about Blur but that's another conversation for another day - their performance this evening was actually spoiled by them having to perform to a "mosh pit" that consisted of various suits dancing round their dinner tables - ergo no atmosphere generated).

    Have meant to say this before and this gives me the opportunity to do so - in one of your previous blogs/Tweets you mentioned a frustration and almost envy at others who have musical talent and the ability to learn instruments where you've been (like me) unable to - well for what it's worth you more than make up for the shortcomings there with your ability to write well crafted blogs such as this - which are always reasoned, balanced and above all interesting....so thanks!! :)

  2. Cheers Graham, very kind of you to say that.
    From what I heard in the radio coverage of the Brits this morning I'm quite glad I opted for a spaghetti western last night!

  3. As it happened, Blur really weren't that good on the night. More like a Blur tribute band. Presumably they would be called "Blurred" (in fact if nobody's using that name, I might just copyright it). They looked like Blur and they sounded like Blur, but there was just something missing.

    1. 'Fraid you've missed the boat on copyrighting the name: http://blurmusic.co.uk/ although they have cleverly (?) just added a 'd' to make Blurd.
      Must say, nothing I've seen or heard about the Brits since I posted this has made me wish I'd made the effort to watch it.